I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
