I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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