i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
