What a fucking waste of an outfit
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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