Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
