We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Randomize
