am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
