her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize