White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
