if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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