Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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