hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
