We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
