How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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