my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
