Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize