also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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