After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
