no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
