people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
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