I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
