she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
