You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
