a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
