I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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