Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
