Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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