She is in my trunk
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
zippers are such a cool invention
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Randomize
