I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
