i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
