I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
