Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
