so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize