Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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