The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
