My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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