So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
