What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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