He is an equal opportunity slut.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
