fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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