her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
whose ass print is on the piano?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
