She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
