Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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