Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
