i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize