my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
