I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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