We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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