And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
