Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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