I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
