i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
