You're so nebulous sometimes
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
