I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
