I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
